Relationshop > Brown’s Dictionary > Emotionally Unstable

definition of emotionally unstable

an original definition by J. E. Brown

emotionally unstable

adj.

  1. A victim-blaming term.
    1. A term used by abusive people to further attack their victims. The abusers first attack someone nearby (a friend or a partner or a family member or a co-worker), then launch a second-wave attack in the form of criticizing the emotional reaction to the first attack.
    2. A term that means “gets upset when I abuse him or her (as if the fact that I’m abusive makes him or her the problem and not me).”
    3. A term used by stoics to bash people who are having problems. Because apparently it’s fun to kick people when they’re down.
  2. What abusers call the rest of us.
  3. A victim-kicking term used by bullies on people who suffer from anxiety and depression.

Street Definition:

A word used by uneducated and inexperienced people who don’t know the proper terms for the various kinds and severities of mental conditions.

When used as a blame-shifting term, may mean “He or she became angry or sad when I did something inconsiderate or insensitive, or insulted him or her, or wasted his or her time, or stood him or her up, or lied to him or her, or cheated or beat on him or her.”

Kindergarten Definition:

Anyone who weeps or gets angry when I wouldn’t.

Abuser’s Definition:

Anyone who gets upset when you lie and cheat and beat on them.

Abusive Supervisor’s Definition:

Anyone who gets upset when you give them one of your famous 30-minute chew-outs.

Note to my old boss: I’m going to expose what you did. So don’t ever get me angry again — and maybe I won’t reveal your name, and the tapes. Now that I don’t need a job from you, I’m free to hit you back. Capisce, mofo? We’ll see how “emotionally stable” you are when I turn the tables on you.

Literal Definition:

The only mental condition which fits the word “unstable” is bipolar disorder. And probably narcissists; those people are just unpredictable.

Psychopaths and narcissists attack their subordinates and even their so-called “loved ones” by surprise, at random, without warning — sometimes just for fun! A flash of Jekyll-and-Hyde cruelty can occur at any time. Small wonder that psychopaths and narcissists are referred to as unstable: they just go off. For more details, see NPD.

Related Concepts:

bullying; bottom of the dating pool; empathy disorders; feeding frenzy in humans; gaslighting; gossip; identification with the aggressor; “honesty” as a cover story for tactlessness; kicking people when they’re down; NPD; pathologizing; positivity “culture”; psychiatric put-downs; ranting; re-victimization; slander; trivialization of the offense; victim blaming.

{You’re reading “Definition of Emotionally Unstable” by J. E. Brown.}

A Word about “Honesty”

Often you’ll see personal ads and profiles that say:

“I believe in honesty...and in telling it like it is.”

That’s a red flag telling you that this is one of the many people who have confused “honesty” with tactlessness. Expect such people to frequently insult you. And when you get upset about it, expect them to blame you for their empathy disorder, by calling you “easily upset” or “emotionally unstable” or by saying “You pout about everything I say!” or some other form of abuse.

Excerpts from my book (in progress)

Random Thoughts.

Not knowing that people are going to be offended by your words and actions is a sign of immaturity.

I advise victims to shift the blame back! Abusive people should be dumped on the spot.

— J. E. Brown

Quotes

British bullying expert Tim Field wrote about bullies and the people they target:


People who observe targets as unstable are recognising the destabilising effect of psychiatric injury… Some researchers have observed destabilisation, hypervigilance etc. and made the incorrect assumption that these are personality traits which existed prior to the bullying. False assumptions like this are bad science, disrespectful, insensitive and offensive. It’s like seeing someone with a broken leg and making the assumption they must have been born with weak bones.

— Tim Field, “Rebuffing the myths, misperceptions and stereotypes which sustain bullying”

Distinguished relationship researcher and lecturer Steve Duck writes:


Many of the well-known psychosomatic illnesses and hysterical states are actually caused by relationship problems, although this has not been realized by as many doctors as one might expect (see Lynch, 1977). For too long the accepted medical folklore has assumed that the person’s inner mental state is a given, and that it causes psychosomatic effects when it gets out of balance. It is now quite clear that the surest way to upset people’s mental balance is to disturb their close relationships (Gerstein and Tesser, 1987).

— Steve Duck, Understanding Relationships (1991), near p. 25 (boldface mine)

1st edition 31 Oct 2022

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